In which I enjoy nicknames, Sarah Palin adds writing to her many hobbies, and CNN provides facts.

A note: I really don't want to offend anyone. So if you're an avid Palin-lover, or if you just know that my particular brand of political fun-poking tends to rub you the wrong way, you probably shouldn't keep reading. I'm not going to pretend this is sophisticated satire. It's just me making fun of the one, the only, Sarah Barracuda.

If you're looking for a slightly more factual version of events, CNN can help you out! Hop on over. http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/28/palins-book-to-be-called-going-rogue-an-american-life/

So, you guys. I'm sure it'll come as no surprise that one very special lady has been on my mind recently. Much as I'd like her to make herself scarce, she's terrifyingly persistent-- and, somehow, manages to be thought of as consistently newsworthy.

Known to her friends (I imagine) as the Moose Terminator, she's been making headlines yet again. Yes, I'm talking about everyone's favorite Tina Fey knockoff, a woman who needs no introduction, but whom I have so much fun introducing that it's impressive I restrained myself and only mocked her for two paragraphs before I got to the point. She's the only pitbull you know who not only wears lipstick, but shops at Neiman Marcus, and the only public servant in the country who knows the only way to truly serve the people is by quitting halfway through your term and then publishing a memoir.

Oh Sarah.

Presumably this book (reportedly titled Going Rogue: An American Life) will provide guidance to the good ol' citizens of the U.S. of A, so we can all follow in her gun-totin', Russia-watchin', book-bannin', state-trooper-firin', liberal-media-elite-hatin', Letterman-fightin', terrorist-defeatin' ways. 

Actually, the most uplifting thing about this news is that Sarah Palin is writing her memoirs. Think about it, guys. While memoirs are technically defined simply as, "an account of the personal experiences of an author" (or so dictionary.com tells me), stereotypically people write memoirs when they have nothing more to contribute to society. They're done, and now they're going to tell us all about it. 

I'm not saying I hope Sarah Palin dies, guys, I'm really not. That would just be messed up. I'm saying, I hope she's decided to settle down, write her memoirs, AND NEVER MAKE HEADLINES AGAIN.

We can only hope, America. 

We can only hope. 

(Also, Sarah dear, one quick aside: why in the world would you call it "An American Life?" I'm assuming you're not yet finished with living the aforementioned life, unless you are either going to enter some kind of underground, moose vs. humans boxing circuit, or have finally decided to become a Canadian citizen, so as to keep a closer eye on those wily Russians. But if neither of those things are true-- and I'm guessing they're not-- why make it sound like you're putting a neat beginning and ending on your own life? IT'S NOT OVER YET.) 

Again: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/28/palins-book-to-be-called-going-rogue-an-american-life/. 

And thanks Adriana, for pointing out that Sarah was going to release the story of her life to us lucky members of the general public. :D