Yeah, we can't lie. There's only one true way to define "cool."

Here, let me make your day better times infinity.

YEAH.

o1. "Jane, you ignorant slut."

http://www.hulu.com/watch/2306/saturday-night-live-point-counterpoint-lee-marvin-and-michelle-triola

o2. "PLAIN TALK." Eric Idle!

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4134/saturday-night-live-gibberish

o3. "I'm a cherry farmer, just kidding I'm a cherry scientist, just kidding I'm a grape scientist, just kidding, grapes study me and I've seen the reports!"

http://www.hulu.com/watch/98322/saturday-night-live-update-judy-grimes

o4. Too sexy, for the other, things! Sidenote: the quote? Palin-esque.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=723UgVWoicw

o5...I don't even know. Watch Glee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n1615vnUIQ

o6. THIS IS COOL. DON'T DENY IT. THEY ARE BENDING THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME. THIS IS THE STUFF OF LEGENDS, ETC. & ETC.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/17/nyregion/17minute.html?_r=1&hp

In which there isn't actually that much stuff going on, but I share anyway.

My life?

I don't know. It's possible the point of this blog is to occasionally mention what is actually happening in my life.

I CAN TOTALLY DO THAT.

Okey doke.

Well, I go to college now, as is pretty evident from the posts previous to this. In eleven days, I will have lived in D.C. for two months. That's pretty weird, folks. Not sure what to think of it. Here's what I do know, though: when I've lived here for two months, it's also two months until I get to come home and visit! 

That's pretty fantastic, so I guess the two-month marker is acceptable to me. ;]

The other night? This happened:

Accompanied by the sound of footsteps sprinting down the hall, a guy shouts, "Where are you?!"

There is a pause, in which the suspense is totally killing me. No seriously, where is this mysterious person? And why was the shouting necessary? Because it's like, four in the morning. I'm assuming some incredibly important stuff is happening here. 

Only, the next thing random hallway guy says is, "I don't know. I just...wanted to talk? I guess?"

There is another pause, in which I am rather annoyed with hallway guy. He just wanted to talk? Because I am prepared to reassure all of you, gentle readers, that he could've talked to whoever was at the other end of that line PRETTY MUCH WHENEVER. And that does include times which aren't four in the morning.

"Yeah...doesn't really matter? I just...yeah, no. Bye."

Alright college. Go ahead and provide me with people making unfortunate telecommunication choices just outside my door before its even light outside.

I CAN TAKE IT.

Also! I'm working now. That is a relatively new development. I'm doing secretarial stuff for an education non-profit called Higher Achievement. Neat-o! 

Ummm. I'm probably going to change my major to Political Science. That is also neat-o? 

I have a mid-term tomorrow. It's about RUSSIA. Oh Russia. Why do you have so much history? Can't you just have existed for, like, a hundred years and done nothing?

Because my life would be easier then. More boring, yes. But easier!

Okay, obviously, I got nothin'. People do interesting things in college, but I am not one of them.

I'M COMING HOME IN TWO MONTHS. I'M EXCITED. SHUT UP.

In which I wonder what to do with college, actually don't want to drink, and have grown-up aspirations.

Oh college. What am I going to do with you? 

o1. I always forget how long it takes me to make friends?

Yeah. It takes me forever.

o2. I feel like I am definitely in the wrong residence hall. I mean, I have nothing against the people here on general principles, it's just that they all want to drink and I don't. I'm sure that's a generalization, but apparently my dorm (and my floor) is known around campus as being the "party" dorm. 

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THESE PEOPLE. THEY SEEM LIKE REALLY NICE PEOPLE.

But our social interests do not intersect. :[

o2a. 

(Yes, this is o2, sub-part a. Shut up.)

Dear people who look at me like I am a sad, repressed person when I say I don't want to drink: 

The fact that I'm not drinking doesn't actually mean that I'm a depressingly straight-laced goody-two-shoes. OTHER things about me definitely indicate that, certainly, but this is not one of them. I think the drinking age should be lowered! If I wanted to drink? I would've done it by now. This is not a fear of breaking the rules holding me back. I actually don't think drinking sounds fun. 

Sorry if that bursts your bubble? It's not like I'm trying to stop you. 

o3. I know what I want to be when I grow up! :]

Ask me about it sometime. I WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP TALKING.