In which I am sleep-deprived, loony, and miss everyone.

Today has been so incredibly strange. 

I didn't go to sleep on the night of August 14th. I stayed up all night packing and panicking, dragging trash bags of my stuff up and down the stairs, and trying to ignore my stomach butterflies (which, now that I reflect on it, were more like stomach elephants; they didn't flutter so much as stampede). 

So I was awake at 4:30 AM when the rest of the household woke up, zombies to a man, and got ready to begin their caffeine-fueled trek to SeaTac. 

The ride there passed in a total haze because, of course, I fell asleep. But once we actually got to the airport I was wide awake to be rapidly bundled through the baggage check-in and past a series of signs until it came time for, you know. Goodbyes.

Can I say something upfront? I SUCK AT GOODBYES.

Basically I just hugged everyone for as long as I could and tried not to cry. I can think of a couple of things that would make airport security more unpleasant, and one of them is going through with wet eyes and a red, blotchy face. I fumbled my way through security, totally disoriented. I've never done that alone before! Silly thing to obsess over, I know, but hey. I almost burst into tears in front of the TSA guys, which would have been a total nightmare-- they were all very nice, but I doubt they're used to emotional breakdowns right in front of them. They probably would've had to search me for being some kind of anomaly. 

Once I got through security everything got a little more bearable, although I couldn't stop thinking about other times I've trundled through SeaTac, luggage in hand-- the college trip I took with my dad, and the Phoenix trip just this year came to mind. I was pretty much dying for some company, family or friends. I wish I could've taken someone with me, but that's life. :/ 

The rest of the day is pretty much a litany of Plane Tasks: sleep, read, eat, sleep, read, sleep sleep sleep, read, sleep and then, hey presto! Washington, D.C., and my uncles' house, safe and sound (and I've got to say, being with relatives definitely helps). But I still can't shake the feeling that someone should be here with me. It's so great to be texting and talking with everyone, but I wish I could've brought a couple of you along. I realized how much I loved you guys, but I didn't realize how much I'd miss you. And I keep thinking my family's going to be in the next room or something, waiting for me to finish fiddling around on the computer so that we can all do the crossword and plan tomorrow's touristy activities.

Instead tomorrow is Move In Day. So surreal. 

I hope I don't come across as wildly depressed in this post-- I swear I'm not! I'm a little shaken up, I'm a lot sad, but I'm also really excited for this whole "college" thing. It's just that right now I wish "college" didn't mean quite so much being on my own.