In which a spade honor would be particularly worthless, I do not play bridge, and presidents wear prom dresses.

"A spade honor would be particularly worthless, since delcarer could take a winning finesse of dummy's jack."

Yes, you guessed it folks (well, let's face it, you probably didn't), that's your daily quote from the TNT's bridge column! Sure, I've never posted one before, but I do make it a point to read one sentence from the bridge column aloud, out of context, to my mom at least once a week. I'm pretty sure it makes our lives brighter. Seriously, guys. Just, go read that again. Try to understand what it's saying. You'll fail, but somehow it won't be a soul-crushing failure-- more of an encouraging failure. Trust me on this one.

(Unless, of course, you have a spade honor, which is PARTICULARLY worthless, in which case you probably feel pretty bad right now, and I'd like to apologize.)

I was talking to Caty at the Curriculum Fair tonight (do you all have whiplash from that total lack of a segue? er, oops) and we have decided that in May I should write a column that is completely and utterly unrelated to politics. You know, something along the lines of...

"Hey guys, this issue, I'm going to talk about stuff. Not stuff that is in any way, shape, or form relevant in your lives. Just...stuff. For example, I like my eyebrows. I think they're nice. I'm less fond of my nose, but that doesn't mean I don't want my nose-- I'm just not its biggest fan. I enjoy toasting leftover pancakes and pouring honey on them. I hate Twilight; it is the asparagus in the seven-course dinner of my soul. I plan to found a religion in which Douglas Adams is the messiah. Nothing will ever make sense, but no one will care because it's so funny, and when there are sudden and genuinely interesting revelations, they will be sufficiently well-disguised. While we're not at all on the subject, I think that the moment I became opposed to hunting was the moment the mom was shot in Bambi. Also, that's all. Bye now."

Hey, a girl can dream. I'm sure people would enjoy a massive, one-paragraph lesson (complete with example!) on...how not to write a personals ad?

In conclusion, would you like to know what Allison Janney has to say about life? THIS:

"One out of forty American men wears women's clothing. We've had more than forty presidents. One of these guys has been dancing around the Oval Office in a prom dress."